In this class we want to encourage you to practice two basic skills that are essential to writing good history papers. The first is that a good history paper is not simply a list of facts. History teachers will always ask you in some way to make sense of the facts by trying to explain the significance of those facts. One of the best ways to do this—especially when you are assigned comparative paper assignments, as is the case in this class—is to organize your thoughts thematically. So, in the case of comparing the early river civilizations, those of you who did best arranged your ideas along themes like politics, religion, society, and the environment rather than listing the features of each civilization separately. Secondly, the best way to explore themes is to make generalizations and then support them with specific examples. For instance, some of you argued that geography determined many of the major differences between these civilizations and you supported that claim with, for example, the vulnerability of Mesopotamia to outside invasions and the absence of a strong, centralized state as in Egypt. That’s a good example of how to support a generalization with appropriate evidence.

I. Specific Suggestions for Clear Writing

A. Organization

The suggestions above should help you organize your paper. In addition, begin a paper with a title and an introduction that gives the reader an idea of what you want to accomplish in the paper. The title “River Civilizations” does not tell the reader much. These assignments, in particular, are very short so you should take every opportunity to prepare the reader and to zero in on the focus on your paper. Your introduction can be useful in this way, too, by providing the reader with a kind of “map” of the basic themes you want to cover in the body of the paper. The conclusion should be a wrapping up of your major accomplishments in the body of the paper.

B. Phrases

· Try to make your sentences and phrases as clear and as simple as possible. Some of the more common problems in this area include lack of agreement between subject and verb; incomplete sentences or sentence fragments; and sentences lacking in parallel construction.

· “All of these civilizations developed out of common needs like protection from other people, animals, and the need for trade.” Do the civilizations need 1) protection from other people and animals and 2) trade or do they need 1) protection from other people, 2) animals (for food, perhaps) and 3) trade? This sentence should probably read, “All of these civilizations developed out of a common need for protection from other people and animals as well as for trade.” The preposition “for” creates parallel phrases that, in turn, make the writer’s intentions clear.

· The following sentence is a not complete; it is a sentence fragment. “Not too bad for a civilization threatened by unpredictable flooding and constant invasions.”

· Avoid unnecessary phrases like “I mentioned this before, but I’ll say it again…” and “As I said…”

· Review the use of prepositions. “During the period of 3,500 to 2,000 BC…” and “There are significant similarities in these three civilizations…” are fine phrases except for misuse of prepositions.

C. Words
 

· Be as specific as possible. Avoid the word “thing”, “everything”, “anything” and “etc.” These words basically don’t have any meaning. You must be able to think of a more specific word or avoid these terms altogether. For example, when one says, “He ran things the way he wanted,” is the writer speaking about his household, the city, the state, the military? Is the writer referring to politics, economics, or society at large? Avoid phrases like “people of that sort” or “the people” when you can be more specific about what group or class you have in mind.

· A corollary to these rules is to avoid being vague. “The floods were not always good.” In what ways and to what extent were the floods not “good”? Did they flood? Were the floods devastating? “They all had different styles of writing but the concept was the same.” Which concept was the same?

· Be sure to use the right word. In the following sentences, the words in bold type are simply incorrect. “The different civilizations were very diverse from one another.” “There were rigid buildings and straight roads in the city.” “This was a time when history was in full realm.” “The area was venerable to attack.” “The farmers farmed, just as their name instilled.” If there is any doubt in your mind about the use of a certain word, double check with the dictionary.

· Sometimes, the use of a word may be technically correct but it still may not serve the purpose the writer has in mind. “While the flooding of the Tigris and Euphrates was irritating, it allowed for transportation.” A fly is irritating, not a flood that can destroy crops, lives, and, perhaps, an entire economy.

· Avoid colloquialisms like “POWs” and phrases like “At the temple, the officials would cut the person a receipt” or “Mesopotamian kings were very head strong.”

· Ask yourself, “Is this a word?” For example, are “advancements” and “sewerage” words? Maybe they should be, but they aren’t yet. Check the dictionary if you have any doubts.

D. Other Stylistic Issues

· Use page numbers for all but the first page.

· Date your paper.

· Review the rules for capitalization. When “the West” refers to European and North American civilization it is capitalized. When “west” or “western” simply refer to a general geographic area such as “south western Asia” they should not be capitalized.

· Avoid large gaps between paragraphs. This suggests to the reader that there is a lack of continuity from one paragraph or main idea to the next.

· For parenthetical citations when using our textbook or other texts use the following example as a model: (Stearns et al. 16).