Danger Will Robinson: Boredom ahead!

At least "Lost in Space" had one big first: making Gary Oldman appear completely normal (and boring). Other than that, there was nothing new under the sun. It's very unfortunate. "Lost" had the potential to be a fun sci-fi franchise.

The film is based on the old cheese-ball television series from the '60s, which tells the tale of the Robinson family who, in an effort to save Earth, get lost in the outer reaches of uncharted galaxy. Along for the ride are peppy pilot Major Don West, the diabolical Dr. Smith (Oldman) and Robot, who utters the catchphrase of the show and film, "Danger, Will Robinson."

The movie is lost from the get-go. It can't decide what it wants to be, the campy show from the '60s, a serious sci-fi adventure, or a family-bonding experience. All three are attempted, and all three fail for the most part. There is a very slow start to establish the characters and the mission for the family. That is forgivable, but even after the action begins it feels slow. The special effects are great in number, but nothing seems new. The computer effects do not seem realistic enough to get the audience to believe that the Robinsons are in any real danger.

The only semi-believable part of the story is the mixed-up children. Dad (William Hurt) has been working on this project for years, apparently, and his kids are starving for attention. Judy (Heather Graham) became a doctor in order to work side-by-side with her father. Penny (Lacey Chabert) became a rebellious pre-pubescent. And Will (Jack Johnson) experimented with space and time to get appreciation from dear old dad.

Of course, none of them are very interesting.

The entire look of the film is dark and bleak, and the action sequences bring long yawns.

The biggest crime of all had to be stifling poor Gary Oldman. Dr. Smith could have been a great showcase role for him, but instead he spends much of the film locked in a small room. We know Oldman can be brilliantly evil, so let him. Unfortunately, the filmmakers thought it would be a great idea to have him turn into a giant computer-generated bug. But by that time, the story is lost, and the audience doesn't care any more.