Soft Lips might be a sign of sickness!

In an era of sexually transmitted diseases, killer, hybrid drugs, the threat of Armageddon, global warming and the WB, you might be surprised to hear that thousands of people across the world have raised the issue of lip balm addiction to epic proportions.

Yes, lip balm addiction.

And yes, you guessed it, they're on the internet now.

Lip Balm Anonymous, the largest and most influential anti-lip balm web site in the world (and possibly the only), has generated an almost cult following. They receive over 100 hits-per-day. That's a lot of hits for a web site about lip balm addiction.

"Our primary purpose is to stay free from lip balm and to help others achieve the same freedom," the Lip Balm Anonymous home page reads.

Kevin C.(he doesn't reveal his last name, because he's afraid the Mafia will come hunt him down), the sight's creator, wants to spread the good news: you can break free from the artificial highs of lip balm. Your lips will feel "natural" once you do.

"I was definitely addicted," he said. "For me, it was Cherry Chapstick. I couldn't fall asleep with out the stuff, I fumbled around for it in my car and almost wrecked, not to mention the financial burden."

Chap Stick, who's history dates back to the early 1880s, was the brain-child of pharmacological tinkerer, Dr. C.D. Fleet, a Lynchburg, VA. physician. His product resembled a wickless candle and was wrapped in tin foil. Now, over a hundred years later, the product has changed forms several times, with new medicinal ingredients and several different flavors. Also, the product is now packaged in sticks, squeezable tubes and jars. Chap Stick has long been a leader in the lip balm market, but it was overtaken in 1996 by Blistex.

Americans spend over $200 million a year on lip balm. That's a lot of sore, dry, cracked, irritated lips. The problem of chapped lips is compounded by incessant licking. Licking doesn't help because saliva tends to dry out the sensitive lip tissue. But what about lip balms? Do they really have any therapeutic benefits, or is it all just a sensational marketing scheme?

This topic is comprehensively explored on the LBA web site. The site has literally hundreds of testimonies from self-professed "addicts" and former "addicts," a self-test designed to tell you if youÕre an "addict," a 12-step recovery program, and a listing of the top lip balms and their ingredients.

"Carmex is definitely the most addictive," says Kevin C. Carmex. It is made mostly of menthol, camphor, alum and wax, and packs a potent punch. Invented in 1936, the aromatic balm is stored in the trademark milky-white glass mini-jars.

But one problem with Carmex, says Kevin C., is that it, like many other lip balms, contains salicyclic acid, a known exfoliate. "I would say to stay away from Carmex unless you have cold sores," says Kevin C. "Because an exfoliate will just make your chapped lips worse."

"There's no agreement on the 'least' addictiveÉ they are ALL addictive, so the question is somewhat moot. Most of the lip gloss/flavored types are probably not as hard[(to quit using] as regular Chap Stick, though."

Kevin C. says people with dry lips should try drinking a lot of good old fashioned water. He also says that if you drink a lot of soda and eat lots of acidic foods like oranges and tomatoes, you may be drying your mouth out. Some people need to change their diets, if they really care about their lips, he says.

The page hints that the lip balm manufacturers are engaged in a kind of "conspiracy."

"There haven't been any published reports made available to the public which do anything to illumine the problem of lip balm addiction," he said "Who knows what lies in the secret vaults of Chap-Stick, or Blistex, or Vaseline? Also, no one has ever proven that lip balms actually are beneficial for your lips."

Well, America, is lip balm addictive?

"Anyone who has stopped using lip balm for an extended period of time knows how hard it is to stay off the stuff," he said. "Your lips feel extremely dry, until your body learns to compensate to the post-lip balm state."

Even if you donÕt care if your lips look like slabs of rawhide, the LBA web site is packed with hilarious, tongue-and-cheek "exposes," lip balm "propaganda," a hearty section filled with hate mail, interesting photos, useless historical tid-bits, and several newspaper and magazine articles pertaining to lip balm.

So stop licking your lips in frustration and check out this sensational waste of time at http://members.aol.com/LipBalmA/index.html.

It won't be easy, but kicking the lip balm habit just might be the answer you're looking for.