In today’s society, being socially accepted generally means you must conform to the ideals set forth for your specific gender, age, race, and class. There are certain roles that individuals must fulfill related to each of these issues and straying from the norm can often result in adversity or hostility. Gender is one the most dichotomized and socially constructed aspects of our lives, yet we seldom even notice or realize how much emphasis society places on it. Society has very strong convictions about what is and what is not appropriate for individuals of both genders, especially in the workplace.
Currently, I work as a receptionist for a mortgage brokerage, a very gender-typical occupation for a female. My boyfriend, on the other hand, works as an electrician in residential construction, a very gender-typical occupation for a male. When considering our occupations, I am fascinated by not only how dissimilar our actual jobs are, but also how different the gender roles are that we must fulfill to be accepted professionally and socially. I believe that if either of us were to cross over those strong gender boundaries, not only would it be a difficult transition for our peers to accept, but it would almost certainly be very challenging to endure personally. This theory is the basis for choosing my gender atypical experience: to work for a day as the only woman on a male-dominated construction site.
I came across the idea one day while having lunch with my boyfriend and his electrical crew. I regularly have lunch with “the guys” and they are all very comfortable around me so they do not hold back when telling stories about what goes on at the jobsites. I constantly hear about their day-to-day antics like using a bucket as a toilet with two two-by-fours as toilet seat or seeing who can wire up a receptacle the fastest... Since the residential construction industry is predominately male-dominated, they do not think twice about watching their language or manner because there and hardly ever any women around. So, on this particular day they were discussing what a hard day it had been already (climbing up and down ladders, hammering up boxes, pulling home runs, etc.) and how they did not even feel like going back to work. I chimed in to say that I knew how they felt; my office was particularly hectic that day so I also did not feel like going back to work.
Well, apparently my job is not as difficult or demanding as theirs because one of the guys came back with, “What do you know about hard work? All you do is sit at a desk all day and look pretty!” What! Hold on a second, did he just say that? He does not know who he is talking to here! As the comebacks and insults were racing through my head it was at that exact moment that I found the perfect idea for my gender atypical experience… I turned to him and replied, “Oh really? You think that’s all I do? Well, we’ll see who knows about hard work… I’m coming to work with you guys next week, and then we’ll find out!” I then gave my boyfriend a look like you better not even disagree and continued on with the rest of my lunch, allowing them to uncomfortably change the subject, all the while thinking in my head how perfect the situation was going to be for my experience paper.
In preparation for my big day, I knew it was not going to be an easy task. Honestly, I was pretty intimidated about working on a construction site. I was familiar with the basics of construction from hearing about it from my boyfriend and visiting him on the sites, but I had never experienced it from the inside… I was always just an outsider looking in. As I lay in bed the night before many thoughts raced through my mind… would “the guys” treat me differently? What about the other workers that I did not know, like the plumbers, painters, and woodworkers… how would they react? Would they look at me funny? All of the other times I had been on the jobsite it had been just to bring the guys lunch or drop off some blueprints and only for a short period of time… what would it be like being there all day? I could only imagine what my experience would prove to be. It was going to be a challenge exchanging my nice work clothes, makeup, and jewelry for a tool-belt, boots, and hat. I was going to have to check my femininity at the door and lose the security of all of the things that made me feel comfortable and attractive around the opposite sex. This was going to be a bigger challenge than I expected.
My anticipation was killing me by the time morning came; I was nervous but also somewhat excited at the same time. I was really interested to see what kind of reactions I would get. That morning the guys met at our house as usual but instead of finding me dressed as normal getting ready to leave for school, there I was with my old camping boots, carpenter jeans, tool belt, and a fresh collared shirt and matching baseball cap.
Their initial reaction really came as no surprise to me. The one who had mouthed off at lunch was the first to speak, “I can’t believe you’re actually going to do this, I was only joking when I said that the other day… you really don’t have to prove yourself to us.”
This came as no surprise to me, I had figured he would say something like that, try to apologize and then convince me not to do it. I guess in the back of their minds maybe they were afraid that a woman is capable of doing their job and they did not want to face that reality. “It’s okay,” I replied, “I just want to do this for myself now… I think it will be fun!” They just stood there staring at me in disbelief and still trying to accept the truth that I was actually going to go through with it.
Finally, we left the house to start the day. I rode with my boyfriend only to endure comments about “where else I could wear that tool belt” and how I was “the cutest electrician he’s ever seen” (obviously reassuring himself and reducing my temporarily atypical identity to sexuality and objectification). The other two guys drove separately and I could only imagine what they were saying about the initial encounter, most likely either comments similar to my boyfriend’s or cynicism.
It was not until we pulled into Hardees for their normal breakfast stop that I realized something that I had failed to consider of in all of my mental preparation – not only was I going to have to face the construction workers at the job site, but I was also going to have to face the general public when we went to breakfast, lunch, the supply shop, and other stops throughout the day.
I began to get apprehensive about being judged by these outsiders and in the back of my mind I knew that I did not want them to think that this is who I actually was. I did not want to be an outsider or to have people look down upon me or think badly of me. However, throughout the stops I was generally acknowledged by the public in one of two different ways: they either did not even notice me or noticed and just disregarded it. For the most part, people at most of the places were so wrapped up in what they were doing and trying to get in and out and on with their lives that they did not even notice me (this could have been due to the fact that I had my hair in a ponytail under my hat so on first glance I was probably thought to just be one of the guys). The majority of the people that did notice me simply did a double take or extended look of curiosity, and then continued on with what they were doing. Well, that was not really so bad, I though to myself. I guess the biggest thing I was afraid of was that people would think that I was a lesbian or “butch”, which is not at all part of my usual identity. I was surprised at how much attention I did not receive.
It was now time for the real challenge… to go to the job site and actually work with the guys. I know how androcentric the construction industry can be, so I assumed that my work would not be very respected or valued, especially since I do not have any experience. We arrived at the job site and luckily there were not too many other workers there yet. We had to carry in the supplies and, as I had expected, I was given the lightweight supplies like screws and plastic boxes while the guys lugged in the ladders and heavy tools. I felt like they were treating me too delicately already so I grabbed a large drill case and confidently carried it inside. When we were all set up inside I asked my boyfriend what I could do. His first suggestion was to screw cover plates on the receptacles throughout the house. That job seemed too easy for me though; I wanted something more challenging to prove what a valuable worker I could be. One of the guys then suggested that I pull some home run’s (one of their “tougher” jobs that they usually put off until the end). “No problem,” I replied, “Just show me where and how”. So off I went pulling these big electrical wires.
Contractors came and went throughout the day, often pausing to watch me working so hard. When I knew they were watching I acted like I did not even notice and I never let them know that I was the least bit uncomfortable or nervous. I just pretended that it was an average day for me, all the while praising myself on the inside for being so strong and independent.
While there were lots of stares and little remarks made, overall it was not at all how I expected it to be. Most of the men were surprisingly respectful and I even got a few compliments on my hard work. I had expected the men to all rush to help me at my slightest need of assistance, but really they were all just busy working on their own projects. Even when I asked where the bathroom was, I was not patronized at all, just shown to the single port-o-potty like it was no big deal (actually, that was probably one of the scariest parts of the day for me!). Overall, it was a considerably pleasant, almost fun experience. I learned a lot about wiring that I had no clue about before and but more importantly I learned more about myself and getting over my prior fixations.
By the end of the day I was physically exhausted, but emotionally I felt much empowered and proud of myself for accomplishing what I thought would be a difficult experience. I had expected the men to be typical chauvinists by degrading my work, making sexist remarks, trying to protect me, being aggressive or cocky, or just labeling me as “another irrational female”. I was pleasantly surprised to find that they were quite the opposite. I guess they assumed that if I had taken the initiative to actually be there and expected to be taken seriously than I must have been for real. Little did they know that this was quite a change from my normal identity and that it was a hard change for me to accept in myself. I think that when you are uncomfortable with who you are you expect that other people are noticing your every fault and imperfection. Realistically though, you are your own biggest critic and you cannot truly feel accepted by others until you are accepted by yourself.
I learned a lot about myself and about society that day, but the one of the most important things I took from this experience was that in life, most things are only as bad as you make them out to be. If you can get over your own prior convictions, you can truly see the positive side of things. I was so apprehensive about crossing that gender line and facing the inherent opposition of society, yet when I became more comfortable with my temporary identity I realized that people can actually be pretty accepting once they recognize your good intentions. I am glad that I was able to conquer my fear of being perceived differently than how I really am… it made me less self-conscious and less concerned about what people think about me. So what happened when I told my boyfriend that it was all for a school project? Basically he was relieved to know that I would not be having any wiring competitions with him anytime soon since my newfound skill was really just for an experiment. In reality though, I think he was actually a little bit disappointed to know that I had had an ulterior motive for my actions and I did not really want to work in construction.
Now if I could just get him to work in my office for a day…